Seeking Validation + publication, a workshop, & summer loves
Why do I care about caring about what people think; a story; writing prompts; a writing retreat; summer faves; and delicious yogurt
Greetings readers & writers,
Last year in August, I talked about imposter syndrome. This August, I’m sitting with its slippery cousin, external validation.
I’ve talked before about the way I think media feeds young artists (and especially young female and underrepresented artists) the idea that talent and originality are innate traits. Yes, you can develop them further, through a training montage of artistic practice, but you have to have that je ne sais quoi to be worthy of beginning. And the way you know you have it (whatever it is) is because someone else tells you you do.
As grown-ups, most of us know this is all B.S. Nothing is truly original, talent can be developed, and most people want to read exactly quoi they want, not something ineffable. But as writers, we want that ineffable connection — that our readers really get it and see our intent with deep enough appreciation to ask (even pay!) for more. What gets dicey for me is when I hitch my wagon to other people’s opinions. Because “other people’s opinions” can drag my confidence straight into the mud.
There are the two warring ideas I find myself contending with: on the one hand, I shouldn’t need validation for my work, because who cares what other people think? and it’s art, which has intrinsic value! while on the other hand, it is absolutely validation that keeps me writing (and editing and teaching) when words and story feel hard. That rejections are both a badge of honor (who cares! on to the next!) and a wound (why does no one want this? is it just not any good?)
I’m trying, as usual, to find a happy medium: acknowledging for myself all the ways I need external validation to keep going in my work, and the ways in which I don’t. I got three rejections last week, and found out today I’m losing a home for some of my classes. I’m trying not to look at it as a reflection of the work, but of the market. It feels vulnerable to accept the ways even small encouragements or rejections can affect my creativity and drive. I work to balance it out the same way I do professional jealousy: by trying to look at both my acceptances and rejections as a culmination of efforts— efforts that aren’t finished yet.
Am I always successful at being totally chill with whether or not the publishing industry is validating my work? Nah. But I am super grateful for all the ways you keep returning to this newsletter and support my writing. Its a huge reason why I continue doing what I do — because I know these words matter to you. It may seem like a small validation, but to me, its a huge honor.
If you can, find a small way to validate an artist in your life this week. Even the smallest, encouraging comment can be the most wonderous thing. And if you’re a creative, struggling against the tide of external judgement, know this: you are doing great work, no matter the shape it’s taking right now. Let us know what you’re dreaming up so we can cheer you on!
Speaking of validation…
My weird little story about a young artist renting a car from a questionable rental company is being published in the debut issue of the online SFF magazine, Trollbreath. Woot!
If you are interested in getting the whole issue straightaway on Sept. 1st, which I encourage you to do because these folks clearly have excellent taste, you can sign up for a paid membership now and you’ll be the first to read it! Otherwise, it’ll be releasing for free on their website on Sept. 27th. Don’t worry, I’ll remind you :)
Speaking of conferences…
If you’re excited to dip your toe into the literary conference scene + hang with yours truly, check out the Metrowest Writer’s Guild Fall Retreat, located in Dedham, MA with virtual and IRL components. It’s intimate, generative, super approachable, and lovely. Early bird tickets are on sale now!
Summer Loves:
My current favorite bop:
This podcast about Hans Zimmer, his music studio, and the Dune soundtrack
Rediscovering Tiny Chef
This spec fic story about talking to whales: Breathing Constellations
Tim Walz liking science-fiction and maps.
Peach Rooibos iced tea
This delicious Vegan Kale Caesar Pasta Salad (though tbh, I add cheese)
Eating homemade gluten free mozzerella sticks at The Cabin
Food I’m loving right now:
Ok, you know I have a complicated relationship with breakfast. This summer I’ve fallen back in love with an old favorite: yogurt and granola. This time around, it’s Fage greek yogurt stirred with a generous scoop of jam (I’m enjoying Bonne Maman’s Four Fruits at the moment), topped with berries and whatever flavor of Purely Elizabeth granola I’m experimenting with this week. And if I’m feeling real fancy, I’ll drizzle a little nut butter over the granola because WHY THE HELL NOT.
Your art rocks. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
~Allison
PS: If you’ve supported my anthology in any way (including pre-ordering a copy through BackerKit), reply to this email with proof that you supported, purchased, or shared before Oct. 8th to receive an exclusive audio recording of my story (once I’ve recorded it!) for FREE. This is not an official audiobook; just me wanting to say thanks to my subscribers for all your help.
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The push and pull of needing external validation vs writing for oneself -- I FEEL IT!!!
On those days when I wonder when I will ever sell my next manuscript and feel the joy of sharing my words with a reader, I hold onto the wonderful community of people the endeavor to publish has brough into my life. That gratitude and those people push me forward until I can achieve validation from a reader.
Thank you for sharing your essay -- it resonated!
Thank you for the encouragement, Allison! I promise to pass it on! So important and appreciated.